On my Baptismal Anniversary 2013 - What it means to me to be a baptised Catholic today!

St. John Eudes

- Love of the Mass, Eucharist & Communion
- My devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary
- My Patron Saints
- Praying for the Holy Souls in Purgatory and young people
- My Guardian Angel

These five things above help me on my pilgrimage to eternal life. Permit to me explain!

Today is my baptismal anniversary. Glory to God. On 19th August 1984, at 3 months old, I was baptised at the Immaculate Heart of Mary Church in Botwell, Hayes (Greater London, UK). The priest who baptised me was called Fr. Bernard (please say a prayer for him). I do not really celebrate my birthday anymore... and prefer to celebrate my baptismal day instead. This was really when I was born in Christ! Of course, both are important, but if I could, I'd still prefer to celebrate the anniversary of when I first came into existence at conception, than when I was born!

The testimony of Catalina on the Holy Mass

Over the last 3 years since my reversion to the faith, I cannot express more fervently than now, what a gift the Holy Mass & Communion has been to me. Roughly this time two years ago, as I was putting in my application for Evangelisation School, the Holy Spirit inspired me to write

"the Mass has really come alive for me. The very depths of me rejoices solemnly at every sacrifice of the Lamb at Mass. Understanding that life for many people is very busy, I can empathise that not everyone can receive Jesus in the Eucharist everyday... but I find it a tremendously beautiful thing to meet Christ in the Eucharist every day. If people only knew the significance of Holy Communion, then this foretaste of the glory and splendour of the Father's heavenly banquet would shake 'the world' to it's awakening". 

We in our limited mindsets cannot possibly comprehend the magnificence of all that takes place in the Mass - but our hearts can certainly partake in a tiny way in it. One day, I stumbled upon this testimony of Catalina on the celebration of the Eucharist: http://www.michaeljournal.org/holymass.htm. It felt like this woman was expressing everything that I feel during the Mass. I beg you to read it, because it breaks down the Mass in a vivid and understandable way to us. It's not unnecessarily theological neither - a teenager with a humble disposition of heart can understand it. I recommend it to anybody who struggles to understand what Mass is really all about.

I wish to share with you a beautiful prayer that I have been saying just before I receive Holy Communion:

My Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, God of love and of goodness, on the altar, you have just renewed the Sacrifice upon the Cross, and Your Will is to consummate it in my heart. Lord, Your Will is that I should receive You, in order to participate in all Your merits, to profit by Your graces, to receive from You all the help my weakness needs. O Loving Lord Jesus, I am only a sinner, how should I dare to take my place at Your table?... But it was You who commanded me to do so, or pay the penalty of having no life in me. Do, then, prepare my heart which You are about to enter: cleanse my soul; say to me as You said to Zaccheus, 'Make haste, for this day I must abide in your house'.

I hope that you will be inspired by this prayer of Fr. John Croiset S.J. in whatever way the Lord leads you!

My devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary

My family prayed the rosary everyday when I was growing up. So I prayed everyday as part of the prayers to the Sacred Heart & Immaculate Heart... but of course, they didn't mean anything to me. Not until that pivotal moment in my life when Jn 14:6 became a reality to me and Ezk 36:26 actually happened! These are hearts of Love that simply invoke a desire for contemplation, thus drawing us into the merits of increased faith, reparation, increased hope, thanksgiving and increased charity
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My Patron Saints

Two years ago, I did not know who my Patron Saints were. Although everyone calls me Claz, that is not my full first name. And I do not have a middle name, which would normal be given during baptism. So I have no saints name! I will admit that even my Confirmation name is made up (long story - and how I got away with it, I have no idea!)! For at least a year, I prayed to God to reveal to me who my Patron Saint would be. At the moment of my profound and mystical experience with God, one of the seeds He'd planted in my heart was to learn more about the lives of the Saints. The first saint I was drawn to was St. Augustine, and I fell in love with him. I also fell in love with St. Mary Magdalene, as I really empathised with her in the fact that she was given a second chance after living such a sinful life. St. Paul was another that I fell in love with because of his conversion being somewhat similar to mine! In fact... after reading more about the saints, I was falling in love with them all. Particularly the Mystics. St. Gertrude for her love of Holy Souls for example.

God eventually answered my prayer. I was born on the feast of St. Joseph the Worker. So naturally he is one of my Patron Saints. I'm just about to read a highly recommended book about him: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mystery-Joseph-Benedict-Groeschel/dp/0972598138. And the other, St. John Eudes, I discovered when I was researching Saints for 19th August, came upon this site and knew in my heart with certainty that he was another of my Patron Saints after discovering that he founded the Society of Jesus and Mary.

Praying for the Holy Souls in Purgatory & young people

I thoroughly believe that my reversion to the faith partly came about because of my prayer for my grandaddy's soul whilst I was pilgrimaging El Camino. Ever since that time, I have increased in devotion to praying for the Holy Souls in Purgatory. Please do pray for them - they desperately need our prayers. If you can even have Mass offered for them, please do! I would be eternally grateful. I reckon that today, at least 6 Masses have been offered for the Holy Souls in Purgatory, and I leave it to Our Lady to decide which souls merit the offerings. Knowing the need of the Holy Souls helps me to understand better how my baptism benefits the Church - Triumphant, Militant & Suffering. And this is a tremendous grace for me.

Earlier I spoke of the seeds planted in my heart during a mystical moment with Our Father in Heaven. The other seed was 'Youth Evangelisation', which is where my life is currently committed.

My Guardian Angel

My special companion throughout my whole journey in life. [H]e's been with me through absolutely everything. Present during my sin, my joys, my hurt, my pains, my prayer, my  relationships, my rest. I can't recommend enough getting to know your own Guardian Angel. Without my Guardian Angel, my baptismal journey would not be where it is today. I would not even know what holiness is all about. Neither will I be able to get to where my baptism is meant to take me: Heaven.

My Prayer on my Baptismal Anniversary

And so my day today will be devoted to praying for the Holy Souls and all those praying and having Masses offered for the Holy Souls in Purgatory. Also in my prayers in a big way today will be those who are discerning their life vocations like I am, the evangelisation of youth & young adults in the world, and those suffering and in turmoil with same-sex attraction. I return to the Church where I was baptised to contemplate the gift of my life, and to offer God myself, as His slave of Love.

Loving Lord Jesus, thank you for the gift of this day, for the gift of my Baptism, and that I still benefit to celebrate it this day. Grant me Your Peace and

Interior Recollection - a necessary disposition for obtaining a loving devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ

So it's First Friday today, and I usually have a great devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. But today, I found myself so pre-occupied! I got too busy for Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament - which is like... ritual for me on a First Friday.

And it caused me to reflect on the concept of Interior Recollection.

I have this beautiful little red book all about Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, written by Father Croiset, S.J. who was Rector of the Jesuit College at Lyons and about whom St. Margaret Mary Alacoque claimed: "By means of a book of Father Croiset, a Jesuit,devotion to the Sacred Heart shall everywhere be spread."

He neatly prepares his pupils for devotion to the Sacred Heart by describing the disposition we must be, in order to obtain this devotion. The first disposition, is a great horror of sin. The second is a lively faith. The third is a real desire to love Jesus Christ. And the Fourth, I shall share with you here: Interior Recollection. Fr. Croiset S.J says:

"The Fourth Disposition in which we ought to be if we are to taste the full sweetness of this devotion, and obtain all its fruit, is that of interior recollection. It is not in a state of disturbance that God makes His presence felt: and a mind habitually dissipated by a crowd of idle thoughts is not in a likely state to hear the voice of Him Who does not communicate Himself to the soul, nor speak to the heart, except in solitude.

This interior Recollection is the foundation of the entire spiritual edifice of souls; so much so, that without this it is impossible to rise towards perfection and attain to a closer union with God, Who dwells only in peacefulness of the spirit and in the retirement of a soul freed from the entanglement of external affairs. And it may be asserted that the commonest source of our imperfections is this want of recollectedness, and that a man little given to interior reflection is never very devout. "Whence comes it," said a holy man, "that so many pious persons, who have such good intentions, who devote themselves to good works, and who appear to be doing all that is necessary to make themselves saints, nevertheless get so little profit from their prayers, Communions, and reading, and after so many years' practice of all the exercises of the spiritual life [by this Fr. Croiset means the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises], rarely show that they have at all benefited by them? How is it that their passions are still so strong, and that their defects are just what they always used to be? The only reason is their want of interior recollection. These persons are too unreserved, too anxious to talk about themselves and their feelings. Hence, countless faults escape their notice, a thousand thoughtless speeches, spurts of ill-temper, unrestrained impulses, and acts whose motive is purely natural. All this would not befall them, did they but keep a constant watch upon the regulation of their interior conduct, with a view to uproot their passions and self-love."

This disspation of pious souls is often the result of one of the most cunning wiles of the devil, who turns to his own account their practice of good works, by obliging them to fritter their energies abroad, and for this purpose to quit the trenches, so to speak, where they were sheltered from his darts. A soul, drawn by a certain inexplicable gratification to be found in the throng of exterior actions, beguiled by the specious pretext of doing much for God, wastes her strength and insensibly loses that union with God, and that sweet sense of His presence, without which we may toil so much, but make so little way. A dissipated soul (a soul that allows itself any number of disctractions), is like a lost and wandering sheep, which soon becomes a prey to the wolf. It is not easy for us, after this vagabondage, to re-enter into ourselves, fo besides that the preference for God is a grace not always at our own disposal, the soul is no longer able to rid herself of the numberless exterior objects which absorb her attention; she has lost the taste for spiritual things by too long a sojourn, as it were, in a foreign land.

My God! What does not a soul lose by incessantly wasting herself abroad, on exterior things! what inspirations and what graces she renders unavailing, and of what favours does she not deprive herself, by a want of interior recollection! "I must," says a great servant of God, "choose one of two things: either to become an interior man, or else lead an impotent and useless life." Without this recollectedness, far from fulfilling God's designs, we shall not even know what they are; and we shall never reach the degree of holiness our state of life demands, much less attain perfection.

In fact, a man who is not of a recollected spirit, wanders hither and thither, nowhere finding repose; seeks eagerly all sorts of things, without finding satisfaction in any; whereas, were he to re-enter within himself, he would find God in the stillness; he would enjoy God, Who by His presence would replenish hiim with such abundance of good things that he would no more wander elsewhere, seeking wherewith to fill the void of his desires. This, with regard to interior persons, is what we can daily see. We imagine their fondness for retirement, their unwillngness to live outside of themselves as it were, to be the result of melancholy. It is nothing of the kind. It is because of the delight they take in their inward converse with God; and, the unspeakale sweetness with which they are filled, makes the amusements and pleasures the world has to offer appear so paltry and so wearisome, that they regard them with disgust. To those who have once tasted what God is, and what spiritual things are, everything that suggests the bondage and contagion of flesh and blood appears insipid; and it may be affirmed that none but interior persons have a true delight in God, and know by experioence what is meant by the sweetness of virtue. They possess Faith, Hope and Charity, in so sublime a manner, that nothing is able to disturb these virtues, within them. Insensibly they find themselves raised above all human creatures, and remain always in the same equal state of mind, immovable in God. From all that they see and all that they hear, they take occasion to rise towards God; and it is God alone Whom they see in His creatures, even as they, who from long gazing at the sun, seem still to see it, whatever may be the objects which afterwards meet their eyes.

And it must not be supposed that this recollectedness has the effect of making people idle. A truly interior man is active, and renders more services to the Church in a single day, than a hundred persons who are not so could render her during many years, although they possessed more natural talents than he; not only because disspation of mind is a check to the fruits of zeal, but because a man who is not at all interior, and nevertheless labours much, is, at best, a man who works for God, whereas, by means of recollection, it is God Himself Who works in the inward man: this man working only by God, and in accordance with the influence and guidance of the Holy Ghost.

Being occupied with external things is no hindrance to inward recollection, provided that these things are of obligation; and we may very well maintain recollection during action. The greatest saints, who have had the most communication with God, and who, in consequence, have been most recollected, have often been the most unsparing of their trouble in regard to outward matters. Such were the Apostles and apostolic men who have laboured for the salvation of their fellow-men; and, provided that our employments are the fittest means of promoting our constant union with God. 

But we must only, as it were, lend our mind to these outward occupations; not give them our heart. God alone must be the spring and groundwork of all our actions, and it is a sign that we are doing them for God, if we can quit them without reluctance, if we continue them without anxiety and chagrin, and if we can bear to be interrupted in them without anger or impatience. This, I repeat, is a sign that we are doing them for God, and not from motives of self-love.

But, in our actual conduct, how different are our intentions from such purity as this! If we dislike what we have to do, how many false reasons we find for dispensing ourselves from doing it; how many excuses for putting it off and then, with what apathy and indifference we accomplish it! If, on the other hand, it fits in with our liking, we feel a delight which at once produces dissipation. The mere dread of not succeeding makes us anxious and unhappy. "
Fr Croiset then goes on to describe 11 means of obtaining interior recollection.

"The more a soul is consecrated to Mary, the more it is consecrated to Jesus Christ"

"If you put all the love of all the mothers into one heart it still would not equal the love of the Heart of Mary for her children."         St. Louis de Monfort

A Solemn Act of Consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary

Most Holy Virgin Mary, tender Mother of men; to fulfill the desires of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the request of the Vicar of your Son on earth, we consecrate ourselves and our families to your Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart, o queen of the most holy rosary, and we recommend to You, all the people of our country and all the world.

Please accept our consecration, dearest Mother, and use us as you wish to accomplish your designs in the world.

O Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, queen of the most holy rosary, and queen of the world, rule over us, together with the Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ, our King. Save us from the spreading flood of modern paganism; kindle in our hearts and homes the love of purity, the practice of a virtuous life, an ardent zeal for souls, and a desire to pray the rosary more faithfully.

We come with confidence to you, O throne of grace and mother of fair Love. Inflame us with the same divine fire which has inflamed your own Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart. Make our hearts and homes your shrine, and through us, make the Heart of Jesus, together with your rule, triumph in every heart and home.

Amen.