Upcoming events January - Mid February 2011

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

UPCOMING EVENTS:

1-4 January 2011: Passion 2011 Live
Tuesday 4 January 2011 - 03:30(am): Religion: necessary evil, unnecessary evil, or not evil at all?
Thursday 6th January 2011, 19:00: Soul Food's Epiphany Mass
Friday 7th January 2011, 19:00: First Friday all-night vigil
Saturday 8th January 2011, 12:00: CFR Open Day (Community of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal)
Saturday 8th January 2011, 19:00 – 01:00: New Year Alpha Party
Tuesday 11th January 2011, 18:30-20:30: Logos Formation Day - Personal spiritual journey
Wednesday 12th January 2011, 19:00: Youth 2000 Prayer Group @ Covent Garden
Starting 13th January 2011, 19:00: LISS (Soul Food)
Saturday 15th January 2011, 09:00: Training for counselling outside abortion clinics
Sunday 16th January 2011, 13:00: Culture of Life afternoon
Sunday 16th January 2011, 18:00: Frassati Society's first meal and talk
Saturday 22nd January 2011, 10.30am - 4.30pm: Sacred Song in a Secular World
Saturday 22 January 2011, 19:30: Catholic Underground London
Tuesday 25th & Wednesday 26th January 2011, during the day: Sacred Images Exhibition
Saturday 29 January 2011 from 10am-4.30pm: New Wine, New Wineskins
World Youth Day
Sunday 30th January 2011, 18:00: Psycho Spirituality - An Encounter with the Self: The Human Condition
Tuesday 1st February 2011, 19:00: Catholic Union "Do"
Tuesday 1st February 2011, 19:00: Theology of the Body on John Paul II
Tuesday 1st February 2011, 18:30-20:30: Logos Formation Day - Creation
Saturday 5th February 2011, 11:00-16:00: Catholic Roadshow Planning Conference
Sunday 6th February 2011: Come Away with Me 2011: BCYS Training Day for Catholic Youth Ministry Leaders
Saturday 12th February 2011, 14:00: Generation of Love



Passion 2011 Live1-4 January 2011
http://live.passion2011.com/
Live online streaming of a Christian conference for 18's-25's in Atlanta USA, called Passion 2011. Passion 2011 is more than simply another event. Rather, it is another step in a journey that is all about finding true meaning as we take our places in a story that is so much bigger than ourselves. It's about trading in small dreams for a role in a grand epic that is shaping history and has no end. And it's a rare chance for tens of thousands of university-aged young people to gather from across the US and around the world to celebrate their common faith and purpose. Anyone involved or interested in Youth Ministry are invited to check this out.


Religion: necessary evil, unnecessary evil, or not evil at all?
Tuesday 4 January 2011 - 03:30 (am)
BBC News Channel
Tony Blair and atheist Christopher Hitchens debate whether religion is a force for good in the world. Rudyard Griffiths chairs.
I'm aware this one isn't an event, but some of you on my mailing list might be interested in recording the debate/checking it out. It was something I picked up on Intelligence Squared debate site.


Soul Food's Epiphany Mass
Thursday 6th January 2011, 19:00
St Charles Borromeo Church, Ogle Street, London, W1W 6HS
Soul Food is a Catholic charismatic prayer group for young adults. We meet at St. Charles Borromeo Church in Central London every Thursday from 7 to 9pm for worship, teaching and faith sharing. Most people who come are in their 20s or 30s, but everyone is welcome.
A night at Soul Food starts with praise and worship, followed by a talk or Bible based teaching on a particular theme. This is usually followed up with a time of response such as prayer ministry, small group discussion or faith sharing, individual prayer and meditation or Eucharistic Adoration.
Please also see below for their LISS (Life in the Spirit Seminar) and visit their website: http://www.soulfoodgroup.org/


First Friday all-night vigil 
 Friday 7th January 2011, 19:00
@ Soho Square (St. Patrick's).
Every First Friday, SPES (St. Patrick's Evangelisation School) has an all-night vigil devoted to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, which corresponds with the First Friday Devotion that was promised to us via St. Margaret Mary Alacoque. For more information about First Friday Devotions, you can visit this page of my blog. The monthly event kicks off with Mass @ 7pm, then dinner is served after, and this takes us into Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament for the whole night.


CFR Open Day (Community of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal)
Saturday 8th January 2011, 12:00
The Associates meet as a group the first Saturday of the month in Canning Town for a day of prayer, service and fellowship. A typical day begins at 12:30 pm with Holy Mass followed by lunch while the Associates exchange greetings with one another and with the Friars. After lunch, each member is assigned some type of work duty which assists the mission of the Friars. Work assignments include such chores as sorting donated clothing, preparing food, maintaining/cleaning the Kitchen and Shelter for the homeless, gardening, and other means of serving the poor. At the end of the work period there is a tea break followed by a talk given by a friar. Holy Hour with Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament and Benediction begins at 5 pm. Following the prayer time with our Eucharistic Lord, there is time for informal sharing over supper (each person brings a dish). The day comes to a close with Night Prayer. In addition to the first Saturdays in Canning Town, the Associates have an annual weekend retreat. Every two years the Associates plan a pilgrimage to a Holy Site.
If you are interested in learning more about the Associates of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal please contact: Fr. Emmanuel, C.F.R. at 0207 474 0766


New Year Alpha Party
Saturday 8th January, 7pm – 1am
The Mason's Arms pub (upper room), 665 Harrow Road, Kensal Green, NW10 5NU. (1 min walk from Kensal Green station, Bakerloo Line)
Chill out, music & dancing until 1am!
Spacious and cosy upper room of Victorian Pub all for us
Buffet food & drinks provided
Bar available
*** RSVP by Tue 4th Jan please ***
Suggested offer at the door of £7 (towards buffet food & drinks and room rental)
Dress code: Black-tie or Cocktail/Party dress


Logos Formation Day - Personal spiritual journey
Tuesday 11 January 2011, 18:30 - 20:30
St. Anselm and St. Cecilia’s Church, Kingsway, Lincoln's Inn Fields, Holborn, London, WC2A 3JA
Where am I? Where to go?
Where am I going?
How do I become more self aware? What stops me from journeying...?


Youth 2000 Covent Garden Prayer Group
Wednesday evenings between 19:00-21:00 and then to the Coal Hole for socialising.
Corpus Christi Presbytery, Maiden Lane, WC2E 7NB.
Youth 2000 seeks to draw young people into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, lived at the heart of the Catholic church. It does this primarily through weekend prayer festivals, where young people are introduced to the essentials of the catholic faith: Mass, Eucharistic Adoration, confession, scripture, devotion to Our Lady. These big festivals happen at different locations around the UK around 5-6 times a year... but those who live and work in Central London can receive a regular weekly dose of these events at Covent Garden every Wednesday evening. It's a great opportunity for young Caths to top-up on the faith, hope and love of God in fellowship with each other.


LISS (Soul Food)
 LISS sessions as follows:
13th Jan: Session 1 - Welcome and Witness
20th Jan: Session 2 - God the Father
27th Jan: Session 3 – Search and Rescue
3rd Feb:  Session 4 - Salvation through Jesus
4th – 6th Feb: Weekend Retreat at All Saints Pastoral Centre (London Colney, Hertfordshire), which covers sessions 5 to 7.
Session 5: New Heart, New Spirit
Session 6: Come Holy Spirit
Session 7: Learn to walk, Learn to run
10th Feb: Session 8 - Life in the Spirit
The format for most of the sessions will be praise and worship, followed by teaching, personal testimonies and small group sharing.  You will be kept in the same small group for all of the sessions, with two group leaders to guide you. The Life in the Spirit Seminar is a journey of discovery undertaken together as a community; hence it is important to be able to attend every session if at all possible.
Information about Soul Food is above, but please register your attendance on their website http://soulfoodgroup.org/


Training for counselling outside abortion clinics
Saturday 15th January 2011, 09:00-16:00
St. Fidelis Friary, Killip Close, Canning Town, London, E16 1LX
Starts with Holy Mass at 9am. Training begins about 10-10.30 am. Please bring a packed lunch as there will be a shared lunch. It will be very informative, and good for those who want to participate by praying also. The training will be done by the Helpers of God's Precious Infants, and will include updated and new material from Monsignor Reilly.
Please RSVP to the Helpers.


Culture of Life afternoon
Sunday 16th January 2011, 13:00
St. Michael & St. Martin's RC Church, 94 Bath Road, Hounslow, Middlesex, TW3 3EH.
All local (West London) pro-life advocates are invited to this special afternoon whereby we will be enjoying pro-life talks and networking.
Contact Sean McGee via seanpsalm139@hotmail.com for more info if you're in the area!


Frassati Society's first meal and talk
Sunday 16th January 2011, 18:00
Holy Ghost Catholic Church, 36 Nightingale Square, Balham, SW12 8QN.
The Frassati Society is a young adult apostolate which combines prayer, service of the poor, and community (specifically, hiking!) in the spirit of Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati. We are very excited to invite you to our first offical Frassati Society Sunday Meal & Talk which will be lead by Fr Agustin Conesa, who will speak to us on the theme, 'Our Vocation to Beatitude' - the heart of Jesus' teaching.
At his beatification in 1990, Pope John Paul II named Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati 'The Man of the Beatitudes' - a model for young Christian living.  Each month as we come together for Mass and prayer, fellowship, food and formation, we will explore the richness and beauty of Jesus's teaching as we look at a different Beatitude each month. As we are moved to live the Beatitudes more profoundlly in our life, the model of Pier Giorgio Frassati will be an example of how we can live out this call. The night kicks off with Mass @ 18:00.
For more information, please contact Laura Cuthbertson on laura@hgbalham.com.


Sacred Song in a Secular World
Saturday 22nd January 2011, 10.30am - 4.30pm
St Mark's Catholic School, 106 Bath Road, Hounslow, TW3 3EJ (nearest tube: Hounslow Central).
For all singers to enjoy music making with John L. Bell of the Iona Community.  Together we will review how to enable congregational song, honouring the Scriptures as a source of inspiration.  Please bring a packed lunch.  There will be a bookstall selling books, CDs and sheet music. £8 per person.  Reserve your places in advance and pay on the day.
Contact Jenny Kettleton, 020 8346 4033, kettleton.family@tesco.net


Catholic Underground London
Saturday 22 January 2011, 19:30
Holy Ghost Catholic Church, 36 Nightingale Square, Balham, SW12 8QN.
We dive into the New Year with 'Indecisive' - a Catholic band from North London. In 2010 (last summer) they made it to the final of the 'Live and Unsigned' competition in the O2! They are fantastic: http://www.myspace.com/indecisiveofficial or maybe try just one of their songs... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMO8l6NRxKQ.
It looks like we're all set for another great night. As always we begin with the truly inspiring Holy Hour in the Church led by the Friars, with Adoration, Benediction, Confessions, worship music and Evening Prayer. Then we move over to the music venue next door where Indecisive will play their set. This is such a great chance to invite all of your friends whether they would normally step into a Church or not. We are expecting great things for Catholic Underground in 2011 - don't miss out!
Suggested donation for the night: £5. See you there... with your mates.


Sacred Images Exhibition
Tuesday 25th & Wednesday 26th January 2011, during the day
The Chapel Strand Campus, King's College London
Migration and Visual Culture: A Theological Exploration of Identity, Catholic Imagery and Popular Culture among Polish Young People


New Wine, New Wineskins
Saturday 29 January 2011 from 10am-4.30pm
St Agnes’ Catholic Church, 35 Cricklewood Lane, Cricklewood, London NW2 1HR. Ample parking, close to train and bus services.
Do you want to reach out to your young adult community? Calling priests, catechists, catechetical coordinators, Parish Pastoral Council members, volunteers and young adults. Join us for two lectures and small group discussions, followed by liturgy. Being a Young Catholic Today by Nelle Carty M.Div. (USA), Making Sense: Reaching out to Young Adults by Paula Jordao (Verbum Dei Community).
Please bring your own packed lunch.
Suggested donation £5.00. Registration: ausrakaraliute@rcdow.org.uk or tel. 020 7931 6078 before 25 January. www.rcdow.org.uk/evangelisation


World Youth Day
There are many ways and options for getting to World Youth Day out there. But I thought I would let you know of this option in case you know anyone that is still stuck and contemplating on going, even as options are running out!
The Claretian missionaris of UK and Ireland are organising for anyone aged 16-30 to participate in World Youth Day at Madrid. Programme includes:
August 12-15: Inm Segovia, with all Claretian Youth Groups from all over the world.
August 15-21: In Madrid, with Pope Benedict XVI and more than 2 millions of young people.
August 22-23: In Madrid, evaluation with the Claretian Family and trip back to the UK.
The Claretian Family has several houses, parishes and schools in Madrid and Segovia where all young people can be accommodated.
Estimated cost per participant is £395 which includes accommodation, food and return ticket! That's an AMAZING price for the immense graces you will receive over that period of nearly two weeks!
Contact Fr. Angel of Immaculate Heart of Mary via 0208 573 2065 or angel.ochagavia@gmail.com


Psycho Spirituality - An Encounter with the Self: The Human Condition
Sunday 30th January 2011, 18:00
Newman House Catholic Chaplaincy, 111 Gower Street, London, WC1E 6AR, 020 7387 6370
Sr. Paloma Marchesi, a Carmelite Missionary Sister, and also a wonderful Spiritual Director to me, is leading four psycho-spirituality talks over the next two months at Newman House. These talks will truly help us in our personal and spiritual growth, addressing questions like 'how do I grow emotionally mature?' and 'how can I achieve interior peace?' Following talks include:
How to Handle Emotions: Sunday 6th February 2011, 6.00pm
Understanding difficult relationships and working through them: Sunday 20th February 2011, 6.00pm
The Way of Centering Prayer: Tuesday 22nd February 2011, 8.00pm
There is a poster attached, and I will also remind people of late February talks at my next mail-out in February.


Catholic Union "Do"
Tuesday 1st February 2011, 19:00
St Mary Moorfields Church in the City
There will be a sung Mass at 7.00pm (Eve of Candlemas). This will be followed by drinks and dinner down in the Hall. The event will be held in conjunction with the Young City Catholic so it will be an excellent opportunity for young Catholic professionals to get together.
A donation of £10 towards a sumptuous dinner and wine would be gratefully received and can be paid on the evening. However the caterers will need to know how many people to cater for! Please email Olivia of Catholic Union by 28 January!
Please feel free to forward this invitation to your friends and fill this event with an interesting variety of people!
For more info on the Catholic Union of Great Britain and its work do please visit http://www.catholicunion.org/


Theology of the Body on John Paul II (A series of talks)
Tuesday 1st February 2011, 19:00 - 21:00
SPES, St. Patrick’s Presbytery, St. Patrick's Church, 21a Soho Square, London, W1D 4NR
Theology of the Body of John Paul II. The evening will kick off with a light soup supper and time of social. The talk will last about an hour with an opportunity of Q&A at the end.
The remaining series of dates are scheduled:
8th February
15th February
22nd February
Contact: Deanna Joy at spes@stpatricksoho.org, www.sohope.blogspot.com and 0207 434 9965.


Logos Formation Day - Creation
Tuesday 01 February · 18:30 - 20:30
St. Anselm and St. Cecilia’s Church, Lincoln's Inn Fields, Kingsway, Holborn, London, WC2A 3JA
The Bible stories of Creation and the Church;
Praying into the creation of nature;
Praying into the creation of human life and soul;
We are co-creators with God...


Catholic Roadshow Planning Conference
Saturday 5th February 2011, 11:00-16:00
St George's Cathedral, Cathedral House, Westminster Bridge Road, London, SE1 7HY.
All Catholics are warmly invited to a planning conference for a two week England and Wales wide Catholic Roadshow happening in May 2011.
Gerry Coates, founder of 'Heart Speaks Unto Heart' radio station for the Papal Visit, has been hard at work making the possibility of a Catholic Roadshow into a reality. It will hit universities, schools, Cathedrals, city centres, and other public venues located all over England and Wales which Gerry will be revealing more about at the planning conference. Fr Stan Fortuna is likely to come over for 18+ days to lead the roadshow, and Gerry is hoping to seriously promote Catholic Youth Ministry and engage Catholic Youths over England and Wales as part of this mission. This conference is a great opportunity to discover how your outreach teams could become part of this mission, and it would also help Gerry to gauge interest.
Attached are the details of the conference and the list of provisionally set dates and locations for the Roadshow. Please save the planning conference date and location in your diaries.
If you are interested, kindly RSVP either to Gerry directly (gerrycoates@blueyonder.co.uk), or myself (happy to pass on your details). It would be great if you could tell me which institution/organisation/group/company/parish/community you would be representing, if not yourself. If you wish to be removed from any further communications regarding this roadshow, let me know gently ;)
Please keep this excellent opportunity for Catholic Youth to share our beautiful faith with the masses as one community in your prayers, and please share this information to anyone and everyone you think might be able to contribute!
Please also note that this conference is also on the same date as the LISS weekend!


Come Away with Me 2011: BCYS Training Day for Catholic Youth Ministry Leaders
Sunday 6th February 2011
Don Bosco House, Coventry Road, Coleshill, B46 3EA
Workshops focus on the following:
Let us proclaim the Mystery of Faith
Faith vs. Society
Praying with Young People
Managing Challenging Behaviour
Resources within our Reach
Facebooking for Youth Groups
Cost = £27
For more information: comeawaywithme2011@gmail.com


Generation of Love
Saturday 12th February 2011, 14:00
St. Michael & St. Martin's Catholic Church, 94 Bath Road, Hounslow, Middlesex, TW3 3EH.
Didn't get enough of the all-night Catholic youth event that Hounslow Youth Team put on in celebration of Christ the King back in November? Don't despair! We're already bringing to reality our next event 'Generation of Love'. This day/evening event includes:
- A talk by Emmett & Lucy Dooley (formerly of Pure in Heart) who will be helping us to explore the theme of LOVE as young Catholic singles, couples and 'discerners' of religious life.
- Interactive games, workshops, faith sharing, and lots of God-loving during Adoration, Confession and Mass while TW3 lead live praise and worship!
- The evening turns hot after SIT DOWN DINNER with our very own rendition of 'Blind Date - RC stylee!', and then it's time to do your thang on a jam-packed dance floor where our DJ'll be playing the hottest freshest and cleanest club tunes til 1am.
Dress Code: Dress to impress... without showing flesh!!! No caps/hats are to be worn in the Church.
All under 18's must download a consent form from http://ssmm.org.uk/ (available from next week).
For more info, contact myself or Nicole Carver, or email hounslowyouthteam@gmail.com. We've got hundreds of flyers yet to send out to all Parishes in the West London area, so look out for them in the coming weeks!
Cost: Suggested donation of £5 - but if that is too much, then you're welcome to give whatever you can! It's gonna be a wicked night!
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS CATHOLIC YOUTH EVENT ENDING IN A PARTY, NOT A RAVE... No alcoholic beverages will be served on the night, and no provocative, violent or anti-Christian values will be tolerated whatsoever :)




Some other helpful and/or useful links:
http://encouragetrust.org.uk/ is a charity who provide friendly and informal support based on traditional Roman Catholic principles to people who struggle with homosexuality. Their purpose is to offer friendship and support.
http://marriagecare.org.uk/ provide marriage preparation, relationship counselling, relationship education, a telephone helpline. We also offer general support and advice to those who want to marry or enter long-term relationships.
http://compass-points.org.uk/ Aged 20-35, and wondering whether life in a religious order - as a nun, monk, sister, priest or brother - might just be the life for you? Compass will help you find your direction.


Have a great January and abundant blessings for 2011!

The most amazing weekend of self-discovery through God's littlest gifts

MY GOD, this weekend, You revealed much to me about myself - things I so needed to discover, so that I may open myself more to Your will here on earth, and come closer to knowing the way you choose for me. I will never understand why You grace me so abundantly like this - tasting the fruits of Heaven, and aching for the consolation only You can fill in my earthly solitude. How can I ever give You the thanks You so deserve, in loving this unworthy wretched and sinful soul of mine? I love so dearly, that You know me better than I know myself - You know what I need, You know just the right way to communicate with me, You know how I can best serve you. Every moment of this weekend just gone, I offer to You... Father, Son and Holy Spirit - for You do not abandon me in my period of searching and discerning. Walk with me, Lord. Send Your Holy Spirit to guide us as I discern my vocation, and discover which way - single life, marriage or sisterhood would make You happiest.

________________________________ FRIDAY ________________________________

On Friday evening, I spent time with the Youth Club at our Parish. This is always a wonderful time for me - an opportunity to try to bring out the best in these youngsters, and help them to understand God's ways through the teachings of the Catholic Church (if and when they come to me for advice). When I was in my teenage years, I had no young moral guide to look up to, no one to help me become my own judge and lead me on the right paths that were both good, and also socially acceptable. I honestly believe that the more teenagers are exposed to God in their lives, the better informed they will be when making important lifestyle choices. It is down to the people involved in their lives to give them that exposure to the ways of our Lord Jesus Christ.
This evening, we had a bit of an arts/crafts session, where we made a collage of the images printed of the feast of Christ the King, to put on display at the back of the Church as a thank-you to all our parishioners who were so generous with providing the drinks, snacks and breakfast served at the event. Three sweet teenagers that helped were giving something back to the community, without perhaps realising it, but will clock on in the future, I'm sure. On the same evening, a teenager approached me for relationship advice, where they didn't feel comfortable to approach anybody else. What a blessing that God would bring this young person before me that I can help!

My God, thank you for the gift of the youth in my community. Through this gift, You have helped me to recognise that Your Church on earth is full of hope and promise, and that I am being called to help nurture this through inspiring the young carriers of our faith to know Your love. I pray that I may always be a good example of Christ's ways, in order for others to follow that brightest light ever known to man: Your Truth. 


That night, I made my way to SPES for all night adoration. I arrived quite late - about 00:30, hoping to stay for at least 1 hour so that I may complete my First Friday Devotions. Alas, I could only manage 30 minutes because I had a massive headache - probably because I was just so bunged up with cold. I felt that I couldn't worship my Lord properly... and it was a smack-in-the-face reminder that I am human, and am limited by the well-being of my own body to praise my God.


My God, thank you for the gift of helping me to recognise and accept my human nature. What good am I to you, if I push my body so much that my mind can no longer form a coherent sentence to praise You with, when I could spend that time recovering? I know that I have my limits, but still I choose to ignore it. My body is Yours - it belongs to You, and I should try harder to care for it correctly and treasure the life You have so graciously given me. Stay with me so that my body can be used always to do Your will, and not cause unnecessary suffering by overworking my physical self.

______________________________ SATURDAY ______________________________

The next day, Saturday, I'd intended to spend the whole day with Mary at A Day with Mary in Acton... except I needed to rest in order to recover for the activities of this day. I arrived during their lunch time, so the Church had around 25 people in it, going round visiting all the statues, and THERE SHE WAS. The most important woman in my life... the Blessed Virgin Mary. At the front of the Church, was a beautifully lit statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary. She was so beautiful, and my heart was overjoyed to see her again. After dropping my bag and hoodie off at a pew to save a seat for myself, I went around the Church of Our Lady of Lourdes praying to all the Saints, and the holy men and women that I encountered an image of. I did what I always do, honour them through their image, and touch or kiss the image that reminds me of their deep love for God, and the good witness they were on earth. I once had to bring to confession that I was terribly jealous of the Saints. How could I have felt that way?!?! I think to myself now, how much I love them all the more for their deep devotion and faithfulness in living the way Christ inspired us to live, and for following him, no matter the cost. I had a major moment of madness/anguish when I was just going to get back to my seat. I had touched all the statues, and was feeling content, but knew there was one left I wanted to touch... the statue of Our Lady.

When I went to touch it, about 4 women behind me screamed at me not to touch her - they were almost aggressive in their intervention. I'd never been to one of these before, so I didn't know that we weren't supposed to touch her. I did turn around and put my hands up almost in defence and said 'ok, ok'. But it somehow unnerved me that I couldn't reach out to her, and the ladies' behaviour was a bit of a shock. What was even more shocking, was what happened afterwards. I tried to return to my seat, but an older lady had almost piled all her stuff over my bag and hoodie, saying that she was sitting here. I asked her if the space along the rest of the bench (3 rows from the front) was free, and she said no. So for some silly reason that I don't understand, I started getting upset - because I felt like I was being pulled away from my Blessed Mother, and I knew that exposition was about to start - so I would have been (in a sense) physically pulled further away from her Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. So I moved two rows back, and again, I received an almost hostile refusal to sit in these practically empty benches. I became so unbelievably upset, that I burst into tears, and moved to the back of the Church - where I had a feeling the lady sitting there was also going to tell me to move, but probably didn't because she could see I was terribly upset. I ask myself, even now, why am I being such a cry-baby? What was going on with me, that I would weep with such grief unknown? The lady prevented anybody from sitting down on the rest of the bench saying the seats were reserved, yet these seats remained empty for the next 2 hours (up until 16:30). I know that what started me off, was almost this self-imposed idea that people were separating me from Jesus, even if they didn't mean to, and that if it were Jesus sitting on the bench, no way would he have refused someone to sit beside Him. But this, being such a petty thing, I still do not understand why I didn't stop crying after 5, 10 minutes. No... I wept and felt my heart-breaking for nearly an hour!!! What was I crying for? I have no idea, except that God was central to the reason I cried... and realised then and there, that I do not know myself. For if I knew myself, I would know why I anguished and griefed the way I did. My praise and adoration that afternoon, felt almost painful, for some reason... and something inside me was hurting - but I didn't know what, and still don't know what. It just shows how much I was not myself, because I don't fully know myself. And I am alone and in-between in finding my true home in God. With Him, I could share my anguish. The only time I felt anguish before, was at Walsingham in the summer - because I felt the power of Christ's healing mercy as I brought before Him all the wrongs that I'd committed and caused others to commit, whilst He died on that cross for me. He showed me the hope of salvation, and it changed my life forever. This time, my anguish is part of a longer journey...

My God, this pain I felt was a blessing. With it, You gifted me with the ability to acknowledge my loneliness, my solitude. No one can ever fill my solitude, until You fill it in me, if You allow me to knock at the gates of Heaven, and allow me into Your Kingdom when I have left this earth. Through this gift of anguish, You have settled a wave of torment not in my conscious, and graced me with Your peace. This is our earthly pilgrimage - to accept pain, and suffering... so that I may strive all the more for Your eternal Peace and Love, in Your Kingdom called Heaven. Thank You, my Heavenly Father.


That evening, I hit Balham, and enjoyed the Emmanuel Community. I'd already prayed half the prayers necessary for my First Saturday Devotions - including the Rosary. Now it was time to experience some praise and worship with a group of young international Catholics whose life is, at the moment, Youth Ministry. Something I feel so drawn to myself. Only a few hours ago, a Seminarian friend of mine said that I didn't look myself on Saturday at Nightfever. And in a way it is true - I'd had a very emotional day, my spirit wasn't completely in the praise and worship, I knew I had to make a confession (that's always a scary thing for me!)... I guess I wasn't in the right frame of mind. Despite it being a beautiful day full of adoration and Christ's presence in the Blessed Sacrament, something wasn't quite right with me. All I knew was that the Lord was, and is, and is to come. This evening I also heard a wonderful speaker, who had also found the Love of our great God - Monsignor John Armitage. I wish I had filmed his talk - it was truly inspirational, and I felt that his love for God was very real and practical for him. It gave me much joy to hear his words. I was also affected by the testimony of one of the Emmanuel Community musicians - whose eyes and heart were opened by God's Love and fulfillment. It reminded me of my transformation in faith, and how my view of the world has completely changed since my encounter with God - the best thing that would ever happen to me in my life on earth.

My God, through this evening, You shared the life and love of Your faithful with me - and together, our fellowship and prayer brought us in communion with each other and all the holy angels and saints, to bow down in adoration before You. Although people might think I would find it difficult to learn something about myself from this evening, we could probably disagree with them... for You taught me that me experience with You in the summer, will always boost me when I feel down. I need not look further than Your Holy Word to find You there, or to read the words of others who now bask in Your glorious Kingdom!

_______________________________ SUNDAY _______________________________

Sunday was a truly blessed day for me! For the second time in my life, I attended a Tridentine Mass. It was such a joy to be present at - and I truly felt the respect that all the people present had for God. The solemnity of it all really brought home to me, all the glory and honour that millions before me proclaimed for our most awesome Lord God.


My God, through this wonderful and blessed experience of the Tridentine Mass, You cautioned me to revere You always with sanctity and unattainable mystery. Yes, You are always close to me, yet, I know I must always respect You with the utmost reverence, because You are so infinitely above me. Your extraordinary power is magnified in this most Holy Sacrifice of the Tridentine Mass, and I must accept that You are most High, even if You are also so close.


In the afternoon, I went to meet and pray with the Carmelite Missionary Sisters. At the vocations expo I went to towards the end of October, I met a wonderful sister, who said something very special to me, that made me consider if she would become my Spiritual Director. I wanted to explore this further, but Christ the King preparations made that a little tricky. Based at Grosvenor Place, this community reminded me of Vespers that I experienced for the first time whilst on my pilgrimage, staying at the convents with the Nuns. The Carmelite Missionary Sisters (as I guess with all communities or congregations) have daily, that peace and prayer I have been so desperate to experience on a more regular basis. Where the day before at 'A Day with Mary' I was so far from my Lord Jesus Christ physically, here in this small chapel at Grosvenor Place, I knelt in adoration right before my Lord - and I loved every moment of it. After a sharing time over tea and biscuits, which was wonderful - as I got to explain to them the mini-miracle I experienced through the intercession of our Blessed Virgin Mary, Sister Paloma and I sat to discuss my desire to grow in my Spiritual life. It was strange... as the whole weekend was beginning to take shape into one big message for me. Sister Paloma prepared me some work to do at home - and the work is all about discovering myself. How great is our God, that He would grace me with this vital message, when I needed to hear it most! And I doubt not, that Sister Paloma can help me to achieve what it was she said I have the capacity to achieve, when I first met her!

My God, through this experience of adoration with the Sisters, you proved to me that if someone wants You enough, there will be a way for them to find You. You will present Yourself in Your own good time, in the way they need to experience You most. I thank You most graciously, for gracing me with a wonderful Spiritual Director, who can help me grow in my Spiritual Life, and my love for You. I know my prayer life is weak, and I can do so much more to pray for the reparation of others' sins, as well as my own - and You showed me that my walk need not be completely alone. I seek to deepen my intimacy and communication with You, and You have helped me to begin this wonderful journey through gifting me with my new Spiritual Director.


After my meeting with Sister Paloma, I headed to First Sunday at Farm Street, to meet some new people, and to generally meet a new crowd of young London Catholics - and it seems as though there's many that I have not yet met! There wasn't anything particularly special about this meeting - but something so totally extraordinary happened to me en route home.

On the tube home I sat on a seat that was very close to my favourite seat (the penultimate seat of the first carriage) Getting on at Green Park, I didn't notice the young lady at the end seat at first, but she came to my attention when she half shouted that she was trying to sober-up. It looked as though she was going to be sick on the floor. Anyway, she leaned her head on the glass, and something was calling to me, to show my Christian love to her. So for the first time ever, I found from within, an ounce of courage, approached the complete stranger with intent of offering her comfort and looking after her. Our encounter could not have turned out any better than it did. I asked the lady sitting next to her for some tissue, and I went to kneel before the girl (yes, I was prepared to squat/kneel over the puke if I had to... but alas, there was none there... just spittle). I offered her the tissue, and knew it was a good idea, as I could see a few drops of mascara drenched tears running down her face. I asked her to take the tissue. She just blankly stared at me and closed her eyes again, leaning her head against the glass. I repeated myself as an order this time round, and said 'take this tissue because you're crying, and you might get mascara over your lovely coat. Everything is going to be alright'. This must have grabbed her, for she looked at me properly this time, and said 'I'm so sorry', and she burst into tears. I took one of the tissues, and started drying her tears, although I wasn't doing a good job of trying to prevent the mascara rubbing all over her cheeks. I smiled at her and said that everything is going to be alright, and that she should let her tears out. When she said again, and she kept repeating this throughout the train journey, she said 'I'm sorry I'm being so embarrassing'. I simply told her, 'Hey, don't worry, yesterday I wept like a big fat baby, but I was kind of lucky because I did it in a Church'.  I then asked her a little bit about herself - her age, which stop she needed to get off at, as I didn't want her to miss her stop. When she told me that she studies fashion design at Richmond College, I saw the true potential in her. One doesn't study something they don't have a talent in, so she is obviously talented artistically. Throughout the journey, she was revealing little things to me, but didn't understand why she was revealing them... and this was all happening in between all the waterworks. Of which I was reassuring her that I was catching her tears before the fell onto her gorgeous jacket saying 'I know it costs a bomb to dry clean a number like this!', which made her laugh, and cry even more. I remember that at Hammersmith, she admitted to me that her Dad is an alcoholic, but she couldn't continue that conversation as she burst into tears once again. She also said that she wasn't a good person. I was really feeling for her, and kept on repeating that everything will be alright. By this point, she had already repeatedly said to me 'You're so nice... thank you so much, I'm so sorry etc', and her body language was now very receptive to my comforting, as she had turned her body toward me as far as she could. Then she said something, that gave me the opportunity to express my faith, and my deep love for God. She said 'If I believed in God, you would go straight to Heaven! But I don't believe in God because my Mum didn't bring me up to believe in anything'. And my response to this was 'well, maybe this is God's way of coming into your life, and maybe He's trying to tell you something.' We were close to approaching Acton Town station now, and I told her just a couple of stops left - which broke the God talk. But when I offered to walk her home from the station, she promised me that she would be ok as she lives only 2 minutes away from the station. So I trusted her promise on this, and decided to drop the subject of 'mothering' her all the way home. At this, she once again repeated that I'm so nice and that if she believed in God, I would go straight to Heaven. I told her, 'let's just hope that one day, I do! I totally love my faith, and God.' Then she asked me 'Do you believe in God?!' and I showed her my rosary bracelet which has a beautiful cross of Jesus and the Father dangling from the Our Father bead, and replied 'Yes I do, very much!' And she said 'Ohhhhh... you are SO going to Heaven!!! If I wasn't so drunk, I'd add you on facebook!' Which cracked me up. By this time, she was sobering up quite a bit, but still wobbly on the legs when she stood up. But all throughout the journey, whenever she said 'you're so nice', I just said back to her, we should all be like this to each other... that's the way we are meant to be towards one another.

One thing I truly noticed about myself, was that it wasn't the 'you're going to Heaven' bit that hungered me most. It was the 'If I believed in God' bit that hungered me most - because I saw it as my opportunity to express my faith, and help her to acknowledge God's love through my comfort and compassion. I feel I am being called not to pray for myself to enter into Heaven, but to help people find God's love. I did not give her my personal card - as it has my blog page on there - which is so filled with religious related articles... but giving her that would have just scared her off. I offered my encounter with this girl to the Lord, so that through this taste of the love Christ has asked us to share for one another, she may seek Him, and come to know His Love even more. I will continue to pray for her, and ask any readers to pray for her conversion also. It felt so natural for me to care for this young lady in this way, and it brought to light a discovery about myself from the past, that I had not acknowledged in a long time... which is that I am a 'giver'. I wasn't, and have never been, so acutely aware of the way God had intended me to become, even when I discovered that I am a giver (more info on my personality type here). And so to discover this about myself in practice, was an extremely fulfilling moment for me - and for once, I truly understood what it meant to be 'a giver', otherwise known as an ENFJ.

My God, through the gift of this girl, a child You have made in Your likeness and image,You have shown me more about my whole self than I had come to contemplate in the past. You have exposed within myself, ways I can help to sow the seeds of Your Truth and Love in the consciences of others, but at the same time give them the freedom to seek You further, and offering it up to You. Although You have presented to me many gifts this weekend gone, I shall treasure this one the most, because it wasn't just a deeper discovery about myself, but also the potential of using the gifts and qualities You graced me with, to do good in the glory if Your name. I ask all the holy angels and saints, all the holy men and women, to pray for me in this journey of 'giving', and ask most of all for all to pray for this young lady, that she may one day, open her heart in search of You, and experience the light of Your Love, and explore it further. I pray and trust so much, that in Your good time, it will happen.



My God, this whole weekend, was Your sign to me, that my path to doing Your will, is best done upon discovery of myself. For to know myself is to know You. And I can never repay You for this valuable lesson... this new pilgrimage You have set for me, of self-discovery.