God who can be trusted
Title 2: The story of my life at the moment!
'For I know the plan I have for you, says the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me; when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, says the LORD.' Jeremiah 29:11-14.
This passage is no different from the passage given in Day 3, which is Jeremiah 29:12-14... the only addition is verse 11. But my word... WHAT a passage. It speaks so much, that it even burns.
'For I know the plan I have for you' - God loves you and me so much he has every intricate detail of that plan already set out... but I was at a workshop not long ago, whereby the leader said that God's plans change. An example of this is in the story of Jonah, when God changed his mind about destroying the city of Nineveh after its people turned to good ways through Jonah's prophesy - which funnily enough angered Jonah! God is not a God of wickedness and hatred, He is compassionate and forgiving when we ENTRUST our LOVE and our LIVES to Him. How can we possibly argue, or even question God's plans? Is it our place to interfere with those plans? When do we know when to be passive or active about what our hearts desire? How can we know if what is in our hearts is in line with what God wants?
'plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope' - I know where I want my future to be! I want it to be in the Heavens with all things good and feasting on an eternal banquet with the Holy Family! I want to be caring for people whilst Fr. Emmanuel leads worship with his amazing band. My hope is in the resurrection and ascension into Heaven. I may have deep burdens at the moment, but this is part of God's plan for a great future and hope. He KNOWS what is best for me... and so I shouldn't attempt to twist that into something so completely selfish, even though I know I am tempted and capable to cause such sin. I am a terrible sinner... prideful, selfish, and that is why I can't help but think about God nearly 24/7 and communicate with Him as often as I can throughout my waking day. I need Him more than the air I breathe or the love I am capable of. I guess... I sometimes just find things difficult because I don't want to let the dearest things in my past go. For example, if God chooses for me to become a Sister, then I have to let go of my family and friends - and these are difficult concepts to accept in my heart.
Father, grant me the courage to consecrate my future to You - even without knowledge of what it is. I will always trust that everything will come out good in the way you intended, so I beg of you the grace to be able to let go of my past and forgive myself, and live faithfully as Your servant in the present so that I may knock at the gates of Heaven to join you in my future.