Wow... that's no small statement. That. Is. Serious.
This brings to my mind everything of my recent past, and everything in my near future.
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." 1 John 4:10.
3 weeks ago, I was an MC, whose calling it was to lead others in prayer, reflection and worship to Jesus Christ in the Blessed Sacrament for a spiritual renewal of our souls. In 3 weeks time, I will be attempting to lead other young Catholics to practice God's Love more intimately; once again in Eucharistic Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament at our event Generation of Love. But Fr. Agustin who spoke at the first Frassati Society meeting on Sunday reminds us, the most important moment in time is not the past, or the future... it is the present - because God loves us RIGHT NOW.
However, right now is a little difficult for me. "... he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins" screams out the word... forgiveness. Forgiveness is the shining beacon of this passage for me - and I believe this is the grace that is missing for me in one particular relationship right now. I'm going through a difficult time with someone in an emotional, spiritual and practical sense, because I feel that they can't forgive me. In feeling this, I can't seem to forgive myself completely, now matter how many different ways I've taken this to confession, and despite the fact that Jesus has already shown me His mercy for this burden! On a human level, it's confusing. It hurts. I feel abandoned, ignored, and so totally rejected by this person. Two days ago, I had a dream about it - and it shocked me that even in my dream, I wasn't worthy enough to be forgiven by this person.
The #1 love for me is God's love, and so at the present moment in Jesus' loving mercy and forgiveness, I place my hope and trust for this burden in God's Word, when it tells us; "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us" (Romans 5:5). I have faith that this heavy burden I carry within my body, soul and spirit will eventually be transformed into a blessing of God's Will.
Merciful and Loving Lord Jesus, I offer you: all my burdens and disgraces, my sin and my pride, all the bad things about myself and my wrongdoings to come... because you have called me to be a witness to the Love you have poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, and I wish to accept my calling to witness as close to You as I can be on earth. Grant me the grace to sacrifice more for the burdens of others, with the same love that Jacinta at Fatima, had for all the sinful souls of the world. Above all, most loving Jesus, help me to love everyone the way You love me, no matter what the other does or says to me... because through the Holy Spirit who dwells in me, your faithful servant, I desire so fervently to radiate Your goodness and Love for others to know and receive Your love.
Thanks to my friend, and an amazing woman named Victoria, these beautiful and inspiring words of Blessed Mother Theresa belong with today's reflection:
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.